13 Sep How to Move Beyond Adversity
As a follow up to my previous post When Adversity Strikes, let’s talk about expectations. If you’re experiencing adversity, it suggests that you’ve been slammed by misfortune however great or small, which means the plans you had did not work, right? Well, this is a good time to release your previous expectations. However, often times we tend to beat on ourselves with a series of negativity usually asking, why did this happen to me? Or why am I always making these mistakes or I’ll never succeed at this. Approaching the situation this way often reinforces thoughts and beliefs of failure and rather than learning from it. Basically, you’re left stuck in a rut.
This was the story of my friend Matt. For several years he was stuck in a rut believing that he was no good at writing when in fact he was a brilliant writer. However, his expectations of getting a specific type of job just kept crumbling each time he made an attempt. What he didn’t realize was with each failure he was learning something new about himself. What he needed to do was release the expectations of what he considered a successful career as a writer and rethink his approach. But, often times we are stuck on believing that there’s only one way to get what we need. When we train our minds to think this way we can become easily depressed and devalue our worth, and sometimes sadly settle for something less than who we truly are.
Sometimes we must choose to release and review our expectations for other possibilities. - Teko Bailey Click To Tweet
John Maxwell says, “you must know yourself to grow yourself” – which is the Law of Awareness, from his 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. Some of us are very good at assessing ourselves and can achieve self-awareness easily but others, like Matt, may require the help of a coach or mentor to help them. Sadly for Matt, he gave up because he didn’t have a coach or mentor to help him along the way and as James Clear points, “Entropy; one of the force that governs every body’s life”, keeps working against us because we’re simply stubborn and unwilling to try other methods and we’re easily defeated based on our expectations. While it is ok to have expectation sometimes we must choose to release and review those expectations and in order to move on with a different approach, opening ourselves to other possibilities that may exist.
From this perspective you can begin to ask yourself more positive constructive questions such as; what can be done to improve the situation? or who is a successful person in this area that I can seek advice from? or what am I missing that could be of value? The list can be endless when you pause and take the time to reflect, and reintroduce yourself with new energy and scope to succeed at life.
Question: Are there any expectations you need to review or release today in order to move on to a new level in life?